Where The Darkness Once Lingered
by JessicaLWriter
Summary: A story following a young girl named Sarah Barnes. She is a dull girl who moves to Degrassi. Her attempts to make friends are futile. But will Ashley see inside of her? How will this affect her friendship with Ellie? Might get sad. Review!
1. Chapter One: Just Starting

Well, I'm JessicaLWriter, this story is about a new girl named Sarah Barnes and her attempts at making friends. This will also follow a story with Ashley and Ellie. It might get sad. Beware! Enjoy though, hehe.  
  
***  
  
"Honey!" Dad's voice came. I sighed as I ran my brush though my hair for the last time and dashed down the hallway. First day of school, geez what's it going to be like? This is so typical of me, freaking out over nothing. Well, let's just hope it's nothing. That's all I'm capable of doing now anyway.  
  
"How are you doing?" He asked me. I looked down at my cereal, there was this odd empty feeling in my stomach, I'd never encountered it before. I sighed and bit off a piece of my toast.  
  
"Huh?" He nudged me on the shoulder. I looked up at him, my eyes moist, and I nodded and bit my lip. Why do I do this? This is going to be easy. This is going to be so simple, just wait till the end of the day to cry if you feel the need for it. I took a deep breath and stuffed down the rest of my toast. It was easier than crying.  
  
"Everything will be fine. You're funny and smart; you'll make friends within seconds. Trust me." His eyes sparkled and I believed him. I always believed everything he said, he was so assuring.  
  
"Yeah, okay. Thanks." I smiled.  
  
***  
  
"Shit!" I trashed my room in search of that god damned leather boot. I had placed both boots on my dresser the night before so I could avoid this crap. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my hair in frustration and let go almost immediately, I had spent hours coloring it, I didn't want to waste all of my hard work messing it up.  
  
"Mom! Mom where is my leather boot!? Did you come in my room and MISPLACE everything again?" I trudged into the dining room where my mom, step dad, and step-brother were eating eggs and toast. What a beautiful picture. HA!  
  
"Ashley, I didn't come into your room at all, you must have moved it yourself this morning while you were storming through your room." My mother smiled calmly.  
  
"Oh no, I placed everything on my dresser last night in chronological order, underwear to boots and now one of my boots is missing." I pointed down to my foot, which was sort of dangling off the ground because my boots were 2 inches high.  
  
"Maybe that hair dye sank into your brain making you lose your memory." My idiotic step-brother pointed to my hair which was now blue, red, and yellow mixed in with my natural dark brown.  
  
"Shut up Toby, the last thing I need is a science lesson from you right now." I snapped.  
  
"Hey, that was uncalled for, young lady. Don't you take your aggressions out on Toby." My mother lectured. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Yeah okay, thanks for nothing." I was about to turn around but for a moment I saw a flash of leather under the table by Toby's chair, a fire grew within me as I fiercely pushed Toby over, his chair going down with him and there my boot was under the tablecloth. "What's the meaning of this?!"  
  
My mom and step-dad had jumped off their chairs and simultaneously began yelling at me about how out-of-sorts I'd been lately and that I should apologize to Toby right away. Toby was gaping at me with this look of shock. Well what did he expect me to do? Smile and say: "Oh, gosh, Toby you got me you silly little boy."?  
  
"ASHLEY MARIE KERWIN! YOU APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BROTHER NOW!" My mother yelled at the top of her lungs. "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS MAKING EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT, LATELY?"  
  
"He's not my fucking brother! He was forced on my like a fucking disease! It's not my fault he acts like a brat! I'm just giving him what he deserves!" I screamed. It must have been pretty affective because after I finished this deadly silence filled the air. I had never swore in front of my mother before, or my step-dad, or Toby for that matter. I knew the best thing for me to do was leave. I ran upstairs, slipped on my boot, grabbed my pack, and dashed back down the stairs and out of that house.  
  
"Why do you always make everything so difficult, lately?" I mimicked my mother's comment. I realized then that I was making everything difficult. Well, shit, they move into my house, take over everything I know, switch it around and expect me to be okay with it? I thought I was okay with it, but apparently I'm not. I sighed and felt hot tears trickle down my face. What a perfect first day of school.  
  
***  
  
I took the last drag of my Marlboro cigarette, squashed it and dumped it in the trash can, I wanted to be "environmentally-aware" as Ash called it. I smiled and re-applied my maroon lip-gloss I had jacked at M.A.C last week. Being poor sucks ass, so you have to resort to jacking crap. Ash would totally disapprove of it, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.  
  
First day of school once again. It seems these days come so quickly and then the next thing you know it's the end of the year. I never liked school, but last year hadn't been so bad. Now I was a grade 10, a fucking sophomore. Where was life going anyway? Down the drain for me, though my grades were good last year. Shit, last year was a good year. I made friends with Ash and Marco, they took me in when no one else would. Not Paige and all her other bitches. I was grateful for Ash and Marco. Marco was so hot, we liked each other until, well, he realized he didn't like me that way, or any other girl for that matter.  
  
That was just my luck. As soon as I find someone with the same interests as me, he's gay. And when I find a good friend she is constantly trying to change me. I hate it when people try to change me, but I know Ash just has me in her heart and is just looking out for my best interest. Besides, she hasn't been so bad lately.  
  
Just as I thought about my best friend, she rounded the corner with a seriously pissed-off look on face. She looked good though. It appeared she had died her hair and gotten some new leather boots and a jacket to match. Very nice.  
  
"Hey, what's the deal?" I questioned her. She snorted with disgust and muttered something about not wanting to talk about it at the moment. I questioned no more. I know how it feels to feel really messed up.  
  
Instead, I took out my Marlboro's and offered her one. She shook her head. At least it wasn't so bad she wouldn't ditch her morals and start smoking with me. I sighed, relieved.  
  
We entered the school and went directly to the office to get our new schedules. I had Geometry and she had Honors Algebra II. I was way behind in math, she was way ahead, but I did have Honors English II with her. We also shared the same P.E and lunch. Okay, this year wouldn't be so bad.  
  
We decided to head over to my locker first since it was closest. She seemed a tiny bit less peeved. I stepped into hot water. "You ready to talk yet?"  
  
She looked at me and her expression softened some. "I feel really bad."  
  
"Don't go any further, I know exactly how that feels." I rolled my eyes. Why did life give everyone such utter shit? Crap, I sound like such a cliché.  
  
"It's just, I was looking for my boot this morning and I couldn't find it." She pointed down to her shiny new boots.  
  
"Very nice, by the way. Major kudos." I smiled. She smiled back.  
  
"Well, I got really pissed off because my mom is always coming up in my room and misplacing everything. I spent like a half an hour picking out my outfit last night and placing it neatly on my dresser so I wouldn't have to go through the chaos of trying to find everything. Anyway I find out Toby snatched my boot and it's under the fucking kitchen table!"  
  
"Shit. What did you do?" My eyes were wide with shock. She seemed really pissed off. It's not even like this was a big thing so it immediately made me think that something else was wrong.  
  
"I pushed the little bastard off his fucking chair and got my god damned boot!" She yelled. By that time everyone in the hallway was staring at us. I found this quite funny and began laughing, trying to hide it. My attempt was futile.  
  
Unfortunately, Ashley saw this. Fortunately, she began laughing as well. Soon enough, we were in hysterics.  
  
***  
  
I looked up at the bold, white words that said: Degrassi Community School. It looked nice enough, but you should never judge a book by its cover. My eyes became moist again and I chastised myself. "Get a hold of yourself, Sarah."  
  
I took a deep breath and looked down at the pavement beneath me, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone. I don't know why I do that, but I do. I entered the school, dodging a few rude students who wouldn't get out of my way. I made my way towards the office and heard loud laughter down the hallway. I spotted two punk-styled girls on the floor, taken over by laughter and I wished that was me.  
  
"Um, hello. I'm Sarah Barnes. I'm new here." I looked up at the plump, elderly woman with the horn-rimmed glasses. She didn't seem like a very positive person. I felt empty. I should have had more for breakfast.  
  
"Grade?" She smacked her gum and it seemed to echo. Was it just me?  
  
"T-Ten." I stumbled. I clutched my folder so tight my knuckles grew white and I could feel the lady's eyes stay on me. "Ten." I repeated myself a bit louder; maybe she hadn't heard me.  
  
"I heard you honey. You need to calm down though. It's not so bad here." Her voice had immediately adopted this much softer tone and miraculously made me feel so much better. My clutch lessened and I lifted my head up to her and she had a small smile on her face. Okay. Okay, this won't be so bad.  
  
"Alright, Sarah Barnes, I see you here. You locker number is 1245, here's your schedule, and here's a school map, in case you get lost. Normally school begins at 7:45 but today it begins at 8:30 so all the kids can find their classes. Have a nice day." She smiled warmly as I absorbed all this information. I now held two extra pieces of paper in my hand, my schedule and the school map.  
  
The first thing I had to do was find my locker. I walked down the hallway where I saw the two girls laughing, they were still there but they appeared to have calmed down a little and were now chatting like two regular girls who were best friends. I felt that empty feeling creep into my stomach again but as this happened the taller one with the colored hair looked in my direction. A smile was on her lips and it took my brain a while to register the fact that it was actually for me and my smile took a while to be returned.  
  
Wow, she seemed nice. I sighed and a sudden determination filled me, maybe this year wouldn't be as bad as I was presuming.  
  
***  
  
Well? I'd appreciate some reviews, just to let me now how I'm starting off. Thanks much! 


	2. Chapter Two: Later That Day

Here's chapter two! Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm going nuts for Shia LaBeouf, well I've been into him for quite some time now, where's he going lately? Seems his craze has died down, poor thing. I don't want him to blend into the child star category. Anywhoo, on with the chap.  
  
Disclaimer: Please, like I could think up something like Degrassi? I just add on to it is all.  
  
Just for the record, I don't know any Canadian cities seeing as how I'm American, so if I mess up on saying the names of cities and such, you can correct me, I'd actually appreciate it.  
  
***  
  
It was great just laughing with Ellie. She was great when she was in a good mood, but otherwise she was, well, on the bad side. I'm not one to judge, but when you come right down to it, Ellie is a bad egg. She steals anything she thinks she might need, drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and well it just didn't sit well with me. Why should it right? I mean, so what if I was her best friend in the entire world and she was the only one that would accept my changes? God, I'm horrible.  
  
I was in such a good mood that I smiled at a complete stranger. She was a plain girl, sort of on the chubby side, but other than that she seemed really nice. I have that instinct; I can see people's auras and crap. Well, I like to put it that way at least. I wanted to say hi to her, she looked lonely. I don't know why I didn't, maybe I didn't want to ruin the moment Ellie and I were having.  
  
"Hey, focus!" Ellie snapped her fingers in front of my face. I shook my head and stared at her, my eyes slightly glazed over. "What's with you?"  
  
"I was just thinking."  
  
"Yeah, you do a lot of that lately." She started walking, apparently wanting me to follow her. We headed in the direction of my locker.  
  
"You say that like it's a bad thing." I smiled. So we proceeded to my locker, the thought of the girl slowly slipping from my mind.  
  
***  
  
"So anyway, Spinner totally was trying to flirt with me and since that comment he made the other day, I didn't want like, anything to do with the bastard." I heard a disembodied voice fill the room as I walked into my History class; it was clear but had a certain twang to it. I walked into the room and noticed a girl with perfectly quaffed blonde hair talking to an African-American girl and another girl who was quite plump, but very pretty.  
  
"You should just dump him if you don't like him." The plump girl suggested.  
  
"God, Terri, I can't do that. I'm not going to break his heart, that would totally crush him." She looked at the African-American girl. "Besides, he's too cute to be let go."  
  
"You have a point." The African-American girl said.  
  
"Well then maybe you should talk about your problem, Paige. You're not really leading a healthy relationship by this cat-and-mouse game. I mean, Hazel you have to agree with me." Terri looked at the two girls who looked at each other with an amused expression.  
  
"Ter, that's the only way it can be done. You can't have a relationship where the couple is, ugh, equal. He has to be on his knees begging for your attention!" Paige exclaimed. Hazel nodded in agreement.  
  
"You two are crazy." Terri shook her head and slipped into her seat, twiddling her pen and scribbling stuff in her new notebook.  
  
"You'll learn in due time, Ter." Paige patted Terri's head and giggled, then she sighed and looked around, her eyes settling on me. I felt horrified. What was she going to say?  
  
"Excuse me, don't you know it's rude to listen in on other people's conversations? Where have YOUR manners gone off too?" She asked me. I felt so horrible it was almost incomprehensible. I don't understand why I get those hard-hitting emotions all the time, it just strikes me all of the sudden and I start saying stupid things.  
  
"I-I don't know." I stumbled. Paige looked me up and down; sizing me up, Hazel and Terri were looking at me now too. Hazel with a look identical to Paige's, and Terri with a mixed look of pity and as if she'd been harassed by my eavesdropping.  
  
"Well I suggest you go find them before you get hurt, hun." She snapped. Normally someone would feel good when someone called them "hun", but when this Paige girl said it, it hurt you. Right in the middle of your stomach, like a bullet.  
  
I tilted my head towards the floor, staring at the speckled linoleum. I took the seat in front of Paige but immediately felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around solemnly, afraid of what she would say.  
  
"You can't sit here, I won't be able to see with you sitting in front of me." She smiled sweetly as if what she just said was nice or complimenting. This really hurt me. All my life I've been struggling with my weight, I'm thinner now than I was a couple years ago, but I'm still chubby. She didn't need to point it out. I wondered how Terri felt about this comment and she looked even more harassed.  
  
"Sorry." I mumbled sadly. I moved to the last seat in the farthest corner of the room. I tried to freeze my tears; she'd probably feel good watching me cry. My inferiority complex led me to believe that all girls were like this at Degrassi.  
  
My next two periods I had two guys, one of them tall and one of them with a nice afro, talking about me. I think they were making fun of my clothes or my size or my hair or something, but I saw them pointing at me. You can just imagine how much better that made me feel.  
  
Lunch was going to be Limbo. I dreaded it, I would be standing there in the cafeteria by myself looking helplessly around, waiting for someone to say I could sit with them, though knowing inside that no one would.  
  
I walked slowly to the cafeteria. Loud sounds were protruding from the vast room. It had a high ceiling and what seemed like a hundred or so tables. Nearly every one of them was filled with high school and middle school students. I sighed, wishing I knew at least one person, and got into the line for pizza. Maybe some good food would calm me down.  
  
While I was waiting in line I saw those two guys looking at me again.  
  
"Look Spin, it's that chick." I heard the afro boy whisper. Spinner nodded and smiled mockingly. I immediately stopped listening, knowing that they were just going to start passing judgment towards me. I hugged my empty tray and waited for the line to slowly easy up.  
  
After I got my pizza and chocolate milk I paid the lady and slowly walked around the tables, just looking at people laughing and having a good time. This was torture.  
  
***  
  
"So you want to go to the mall after school today?" Ellie inquired. I sighed, nibbling on my salad and sipping some of my Pepsi. School was going to be easy this year, just like it was last year. At least I get a break; I hear next year is the hardest year anyway.  
  
"I don't have any money." I answered. She laughed that laugh that meant: "You are so ignorant." I eyed her, knowing she didn't have money either and knowing that she wasn't planning on paying anyway.  
  
"So?"  
  
"I thought you said you were gonna stop that."  
  
"Stop what?"  
  
"You know what I'm talking about, Ellie." I looked her straight in the eye as she rolled them. She never listened to me. She never seemed to understand that shoplifting is dangerous and not to mention, illegal.  
  
She started yapping away about how I was always trying to change her, and I tuned her out to people watch. Just then, I saw that girl I saw this morning. She was walking around the tables looking sad and lost. That overwhelming feeling rushed through me again and before I knew it I was yelling for her. She turned my way and looked surprised that I was talking to her.  
  
"Hey, you wanna sit with us?" I asked her with a big smile on my face. She returned the smile but eyed Ellie wearily. Ellie was not looking happy since I had just ignored her to talk to some other girl. Ellie was impatient like that.  
  
"Um, sure, if that's OK." The girl said politely. She placed her tray next to mine and sat down.  
  
"Of course it's OK or she wouldn't have offered." Ellie said. The girl looked offended.  
  
"Don't take Ellie personally, she's always a bitch." I waved Ellie off. The girl laughed and so did Ellie, though Ellie's was not totally whole-heartedly.  
  
"So what's your name?" I asked. She sipped her chocolate milk and wiped her face as if she'd spilt something on it.  
  
"Um, Sarah Barnes. I just moved here from Quebec." She said quietly. This amused me, Quebec was mostly country, she must've not have been used to seeing Degrassi, though it's not quite as metropolitan as downtown Toronto.  
  
"Wow that's interesting, did you own a farm there or something?" Ellie asked sarcastically. I could tell that Ellie had not taken a liking to this girl, if a sarcastic comment was made twice she meant business.  
  
"Er, no we lived in a town called Edensville. It was really small but not a farming community or anything." She answered wearily.  
  
"Yeah, that's great. So, Ash, we're going to the mall right?" Ellie ignored Sarah completely and just resumed talking to me as if she didn't exist. I resented Ellie for this.  
  
"Yeah we are, and Sarah, do you want to come with us?" I wanted to be nice. Sarah did seem interesting despite her shy appearance.  
  
"Um, I don't know, I'll have to ask my dad." She shrugged and blushed.  
  
"Alright, well here's my number so you can call me after school."  
  
"Thanks, that would be awesome." She looked genuinely happy as I wrote my number on a napkin and handed it to her. I felt awesome. I haven't felt like that in a long time.  
  
"No problem." I smiled. "No problem at all." I wish now I hadn't agreed to go at all.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Well, that's the end so far. This was longer than a lot of my other chapters ever were. Hope you enjoy! Reviews would be mucho appreciated!!! 


End file.
